The Mom: I had fish tacos for lunch. They were delicious!
The 10 y.o.: Were they soft shell or deep-fried?
The Mom: Soft. It was a freshly made tortilla.
The 10 y.o.: I wonder which came first – the Spanish tortilla or Greek pita. They seem to be derived from a common idea with flour and water as their main ingredients. What do you think?
The Mom: I think you need to ask the Internet. I am not smarter than my 5th grader, but the collective knowledge of the planet may be.
The 14 y.o.: I’ve never seen so many fish restaurants in one place in my life! I wonder why fish is so big in Wisconsin.
The 6 y.o.: Well, the town IS called Whitefish Bay.
The Mom: Could ONE of you three just get on with stacking the dishwasher after dinner? Dad and I make the money, buy the food, and cook your dinner every night – the least you could do is tidy up afterwards without us begging you to just get it done. And another thing – push your chairs under the table after you are done eating. Who left the sliding door unlocked and open? Seriously – WERE YOU BORN IN A BARN?
The 7 y.o. (thoughtfully): No. But Jesus was.
The Dad: Sigh… It says something when I can’t help you with your math homework.
The Mom: The Five Guys is inside the mall just down the road.
The 14 y.o.: What’s the name of the mall?
The Mom: It’s called the Brookfield Galleria.
The 10 y.o.: Galleria? What a great word! Now I know what rhymes with “diarrhea”.
Photo Credit: Anna Thetical
The 10 y.o.: Whatcha watchin’?
The 6 y.o.: The Doctor.
The 10 y.o.: Doctor Who?
The 6 y.o.: Yep. Shhhh!
The 10 y.o.: Doctor WHO?
The 6 y.o.: YES! That’s what I said! Now SHHH! This is a good bit when he talks to the big bug.
The 10 y.o.: Doctor WHO? What’s his first name?
The 6 y.o. {hold up fingers with her airquotes): “The” as in “The Doctor”.
The 10 y.o. {sarcastically using her fingers for airquotes}: “The Doctor”…WHO???!
The 6 y.o.: I give up. I’m going to watch it in my bedroom.
The 10 y.o.: WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH???
The 6 y.o.: I just told you. Doctor Who.
The 10 y.o.: Oh for goodness’ sake! I just want to know what you’re watching and you haven’t told me his name! Doctor WHO???
The 6 y.o.: Yes. Exactly. That’s what I said.
The 10 y.o.: I know. Wait – what?
The 6 y.o.: I’m going to watch the Doctor somewhere that’s quiet. See ya!
The 10 y.o.: MOM!!!!
The 6 y.o.: Dad? Why is the car talking to me while I was waiting for you to get in?
The Dad: It’s called the radio. I have it on NPR.
The 6 y.o.: Well it’s boring. And it freaked me out! Can you plug in my iTouch so I can listen to my playlist? I want to go to school ‘Op Op Op Op’m Gangnam Style’
